Unless you have the power to sign new singing artists to million dollar contracts the way ‘American Idol’s’ Simon Cowell does, you really can’t afford to be known as obnoxious and rude as far as the ladies go.
The point is that the more you develop class and finesse in your personal manners and appearance the more impressive your impact will be on the fairer sex. As always education is your most powerful tool. Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary states that class (of the sort we’re referring to here) is ‘high social rank, quality and elegance’ and finesse is ‘skillful handling of a situation’, put these two qualities together and a man can go anywhere ‘ especially with women.
There are three areas of ‘manners’ where your sense of class and finesse can have you racing ahead of the competition if you learn these lessons well and start to make them a part of your daily life: your speaking & writing etiquette, your manners, and finishing touches.
Speaking & Writing Well:
Nothing gives away nervousness more than speaking too fast and too much. If you get nothing else out of this article please remember to ‘slow down’ when talking to a new woman, or any woman, you’re attracted to. Also, the great seducers know that most people like to talk more than they like to listen’ so, seducers listen. By listening, really listening, you’re often given exactly the information you need in order successfully complete the seduction. Don’t imagine you know how to catch this woman’s interest, listen to her and find out exactly how to do it!
When you speak quickly your voice tenses up and gets higher in pitch ‘ not an attractive quality. If you’re mistaken for your mother or your younger sister on the phone you’ve got a problem. Do your best to be relaxed when you speak so that your voice will have as pleasant and deep a pitch as possible.
In these days of IM’s and emails your poor grammar, spelling and sentence structure use can really turn off a prospective romance, especially if you’re interested in a brainy girl or a sophisticated older woman. I don’t care if you have to go and buy a basic grammar book, you should know how to punctuate a sentence and get your point across clearly. With the world of education at your finger tips with the internet, you have no excuse for being an ignoramus.
Might I point out that it’s the arty bookworm’s and writers in training who are doing very well on the internet dating circuit. Women love to be sparked and then wooed by a witty wordsmith who sends out well crafted emails. The best way to improve your grammar, spelling, and sentence structure is by spending some time with a good book. No, I don’t mean the latest thriller! Read something that will cause you to think, and will give you some good topics of conversation. Think beyond the NFL and the latest video game! I dare you to pick up Thoreau’s ‘Walden’ — upon completion, you can be a better spoken, more thought provoking, and certainly more seductive, man.
Good Table Manners:
Quite possibly your mother told you at least once, and if not once, a thousand times, ‘mind your manners’. She’s right. That’s exactly what you need to do, especially when dining with a lady. Going out to eat with a new date can be a nerve wracking procession, especially if you’re young and inexperienced at it. Let’s just go over some basics:
– Open the door for her. It’s polite. I don’t know any women who are annoyed by this action anymore. Go for it.
– If the waiter doesn’t pull out the chair for her do it yourself. Yes, it’s a little formal, but it’s also a lovely gesture. Why not go for all the brownie points you can?
– Practice the art of conversation, not filling her in on everything that’s impressive about your life. I know I harp on this guys, but I cannot believe how many well educated successful men fall into this trap. It’s so boring and rude! Conversation should be a bit like a volley where both sides get to participate. Not sure what to talk about? Ask her about herself, her favorite pastimes, her favorite movie’
– Let your date order first.
– Don’t chew with your mouth open.
– Don’t eat as if you’re in a hurry to catch a plane. There’s time to enjoy your meal and your date.
– Obviously this isn’t time for a burping contest.
For more great tips check out the internet under key word search ‘etiquette’ or check out the frank and wonderful ‘Secrets of Seduction’ by Brenda Venus. Her chapter on ‘How To Wine And Dine’ will leave you knowing exactly what to do, no matter how fine the restaurant or the woman. She wisely points out ‘It’s no coincidence we use ‘appetite’ and ‘hunger’ for both sex and food. A man who gobbles down his food, drowning it in condiments, doesn’t even know what he ate. He probably does the same thing in bed. This is definitely not the way to please a woman.’
What do I mean by finishing touches? I mean all kinds of small but important things you can do in order to stand out as a man of distinction in the eyes of women.
– Are you polite? Do you remember to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ whether you’re dealing with your boss or the parking attendant? Do you remember to bring a small hostess gift to a woman who’s preparing a meal for you, or when you’ve been invited to meet her parents? No? You’ll be delighted the response your thoughtfulness will receive.
– Do you care enough about your appearance to make the most of it? Again from ‘Secrets of Seduction’ Brenda Venus writes ‘Do you know that women honestly feel more comfortable with an average looking guy who presents himself well than a super-looking guy who intimidates them?
A ‘must read’ book for any man serious about improving his appearance in clothes is Alan Flusser’s ‘Dressing The Man: Mastering The Art Of Permanent Fashion’. In this fascinating book he teaches you everything from choosing which colors and patterns will look best with your skin tone and hair color, to the right cut for your shape and height.
– Are you a thoughtful gift giver? No, I don’t mean an ‘expensive’ gift giver, I mean someone who listens and pays attention enough to women to know what kinds of gifts they’ll really appreciate as opposed to what you always ‘thought’ they’d like? Trust me, a CD soundtrack of her favorite movie and a few bright Gerber daisies or even an exotic orchid go farther with many women than roses do.
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