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Beyond Cyber Dating


Once you have established a rapport with someone online, it is a good idea for you to firstly exchange photos (if you haven’t already), and then call your prospective beau up. If all goes well, you can then arrange a meeting.

Dating, whether online or otherwise, carries with it inherent dangers. It is always best on the first date, whether it has been organised through friends or online, to meet in a public place, with friends around to look after you if it goes pear shaped.

Here are a few general tips I can offer you from my experience.

If you are going to a bar on your first date:

– Watch your drink as it’s prepared
– Drink from bottles and cans
– Don’t leave your drink unattended
– Use the buddy system – go out with a group of friends who agree to stay and leave together.
– Make sure you have enough cash in case of difficulties – for a phone call or cab fare.
– Carry a cell phone if you have one – always good to have around in case of emergencies.

If the situation feels uncomfortable, communicate this to the other person – dont hesitate to say “no” at any time, under any circumstances. Be straightforward and clear. If necessary, yell for help or try to fight back.

When it comes to dating, communication between parties can easily become confused or misinterpreted. Setting personal boundaries prior to dating may help take the guesswork out of what will happen during the date. Here are some ways to get started:

Before intimacy, state in clear terms what is acceptable and not acceptable, especially concerning sexual activity.

Be clear in defining your personal space and your limits.

Do not hesitate to say “no” at any point for any reason, particularly if things start to feel uncomfortable and/or unsafe.

You may feel we are going a little overboard in our treatment of first dates, but you can never be too careful these days. Remember, when you normally meet people it is generally through friends, family or work colleagues, and you are usually safe enough. Make sure it is not a one on one, or the very least, in a public place.

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